How to cut a Ruby - Chapter 3

Just how many drinks did Ruby have that night?

Cecily Fay was the last to leave Reinhold's apartment, and Ruby waited until she was alone before pulling her knees to her chest. She managed to offend Cecily first, and kept her mouth shut for most of the the evening. Still, she managed to piss off two other people while not to offend the first.

She tried to count the number of beers she drank. It was a lot. She closed her eyes and sank into the soft green upholstery of Reinhold's couch as the room haphazardly spun around her. Why? Why did she always have to fuck things up? Why did she have to scare off the few people she wanted desperately to be her friends?

Ruby just couldn't help herself. She knew exactly how Julie felt about Zack, but still, she pushed it. It wasn't her fault he was handsome and intelligent. It wasn't her fault that he was flirting with her as relentlessly as she was with him. Okay, maybe it was her fault... but she kept looking at Julie, who was evidently just as skilled at hiding her anger as Ruby was at hiding her drunkenness. She seemed to be just as interested in the direction of the conversation as Ruby and Zack were. No harm, no foul, right?

It was official. She just couldn't keep her big mouth shut. She brought her stubby cigar to her lips and inhaled the woody flavour. She tilted her head back and exhaled slowly, studying the swirling smoke. She doubted she'd see either of them again, and felt her chest cave with disappointment. The problem was, she genuinely liked both of them, but her impulsive brashness always ended up alienating her.

She was surprised Reinhold stuck around. She tormented the hell out of him. Untied his laces, wore his hat, stole his cigs, and drank his beer. She hustled his money playing poker, punched him, swore at him, and threatened to break his fingers. He just grinned at her and took her abuse. Why? Was it a game? Was he plotting a steel cold revenge against her? She didn’t get him. He never made a move on her, and she never made moves on him. But, he flirted with Cecily and other women all the time. Clearly, in her mind, he wasn't interested, and she wasn't about to ask.

She set the cigar in the ashtray to burn out, and slowly stood from the couch. She swaggered drunkenly up the stairs to her guitar which she had earlier leaned against the wall. She flopped heavily onto the floor and pulled the instrument into her lap. She found her pick and started clumsily strumming the strings.

She leaned her head against the wall and turned it just enough to see the door. Who knows when Reinhold would be back? He seemed to have a hunch about Ruby's attackers, and far be it from her to interfere with his style of investigation. She didn't want him to go earlier on, but silently nodded to him as he slipped out the door. She couldn’t help but watch the door for several seconds after it shut behind him.

She closed her eyes as her fingers found a more refined melody, and started to sing her heart out.

"Sometimes I curse,
Sometimes I lie,
It's times like these,
When I jus' wanna curl up an' die.

Drownin' in a bottle,
Chokin’ on my smoke,
Stuck in a rut,
An' not about t'get out"

She took a deep breath and continued singing.

"Whyyy can' y'jus' understand...
This is the way I am.
This is how I live my life.
Whyyy's it gotta be so rough...
To get along jus' fine...
To stop sayin' these things,
An' stop actin' so tough..."

She looked down at her fingers as they found the proper notes. She improvised a filler chorus, then let the words spill out.

"Ain' gonna 'pologize.
Ain' gonna cry.
Ain' gonna hold yer hand.
An' I won' say goodbye.

Gonna smoke my cigarettes,
Gonna drink my beer.
Gonna be braaaaave,
Not gonna live in fear.

"So, Whyyy can't y'jus' understand...
This is the way I am.
This is how I live my life.
Whyyy's it gotta be so rough...
To get along jus' fine...
T’stop sayin' all these things,
An' stop actin' so tough..."

She strummed her guitar for a minute longer and limply rested her hand on her knee. She softly exhaled, glancing at the door one last time. She leaned the guitar back in its spot against the wall and cautiously stood. She stumbled down the stairs to the couch and curled into fetal position.

She barely had time to think before she was overtaken by drunken fatigue and passed out.

***

Reinhold stood outside the door and listened to Ruby singing. He tugged the brim of his hat over his face and waited until the singing turned into sounds of movement, then into the soft exhales of heavy sleep. He entered the Safehouse and closed the door silently behind him, making sure it was securely locked. He looked over at Ruby on the couch and pulled his long black coat off to drape it carefully over her small frame.

He turned the lights out and walked to his computer. He decided he would work quietly until she woke. She should be sober when she received his news.